The Pain is back

I've been having insomnia for the past one week, just couldn't sleep. I remembered one of my friends told me about her insomnia problem, and i told her i don't have the 'luxury' of not sleeping as i've only the most 6 hrs of sleep per day due to my heavy work schedule.
After the recent incident with Andy, i've been feeling very down. In fact, I told God that I can't endure any longer. Going through disappointment over and over again, i find that my heart is getting very tired, and it affects me emotionally. Everyday, i don't feel like going home, and have the thought of going drinking again. I feel like torturing myself once again. The chain seems to be back once again...I failed again. God, i did try my best to accept Andy, but time after time, the disappointment that Andy caused had made my heart so pain, so hurt which i can't describe in words. I want to call a friend, but i feel that i've no one to call, and i don't want to talk at all.
What is life to me now? Soaking in my tears and pains..God, can you let me go?